Rainbows and Butterflies

Sometimes I wonder what life is all about. That's not to say I don't know, it's more like a feeling of everything is so much bigger than little me and that, in itself, leaves me feeling completely lost. I believe in God. I will always believe in God, but that doesn't exclude me from worries and fears.

Today, I cut my hair short. It felt good to cut off the dead ends and the droopiness and feel the new me, short, puffy hair, but when I came home, I missed my long hair, even though my long hair wasn't that long. That is how life feels some times. We long for change, for something else, but when we finally get what we thought we wanted it’s not really what we wanted in the first place.

I remember all my life wanting to be married. Since I was a little girl I dreamed up a gorgeous wedding and a romantic life. I tried with all my might to act like I didn't want be married, because I knew how disappointed I would be if I never did marry. I did marry, very young as well, and I am grateful for my husband. I love him and marriage is great, but then again it's not always rainbows and butterflies.

Rainbows and butterflies: A rainbow equals a promise. A promise from God to never allow our lives to be flooded, but not necessarily a promise that it will never rain again, it will rain; it may even pour, yet with God we can stay afloat. Butterflies, they are beautiful, but not before they are fully grown. One would never believe that a larva could turn into a colorful flying insect, if it wasn't for the fact that others have gone before. We are often in the larva state, but others have gone before us and turned into gorgeous butterflies. We need only the patience, the endurance, and the willingness to change.