Happy Birthday to my husband!

It's been ten years since we've known each other, six years ago, today, since we started dating, and 27 years ago he was born. Congrats min älskling (which translates my love)

  I am beyond grateful to have such a wonderful man in my life. He is definitely the kindest, most caring and loving person I have ever known. I remember when I first met him, I was 13, he was 16, I thought he would be like all the other older boys and ignore me completely since I was so young and immature. Yet, instead of ignoring me, he took an interest in my well being and helped me through some of the most difficult stages in my life. He is all I ever dreamed of and more. I love you Carl Albin Christofer Karltorp. Ahh, have to love those Swedish names :)

 May I endeavor to deserve you ♥

Crossfit, Robert, Zerply, Zerply, Zerply...

Did I mention Zerply? Because I might of just repeated myself a time or two because Zerply is ALL consuming, which it should be. I like it, don't get me wrong, but OOh how I wish I could program or design or something! It drives me crazy to sit and talk, talk and sit, and then just have to wait until poor Taaniel, who developes everything, and poor Josef, who has to do all the hard and complicated things, work their heads off while Christofer and I go through paperwork with our lawyer, write and rewrite, wait and bookkeep. I understand that it's important for each person to play ones part, but ahh, why oh why is it such a hard thing?!
  Disclaimer if you haven't noticed I am just one of many who complains about things that I actually am very grateful for. Without Taaniel we wouldn't be anywhere, without Josef our site would of been hacked years ago and without Christofer we wouldn't have any money. Me, however, well we could probably do without me, but then again who would be writing this, eh?
  Second disclaimer it's 11:30pm and we had our crossfit session today, which means I am tired.

  There are so many things in my life I wish I could change. I spend all of my time wishing I did I don't think I'll get much done...

Sleep!

Feeling sick today, despite the weather being beautiful, as always. I woke up with a cough yesterday and today a slight fever, well, Christofer doesn't think it's a fever, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what he's talking about. I asked him to feel my forehead and after a second he exclaimed that it felt completely normal, strange then that I'm freezing though it's 75℉ in our house, ahh, men, what to do with them. Anyway, the one thing I always do when feeling under the weather is sleep, it's amazing what it does, takes a terrible day and turns it upside down. In fact because sleep and I are such good friends I wrote a little poem for sleep.

Sleep, my weathered friend
you are always there when life takes a bend
With dreams you give me relief from troubled things
you make me feel as if I had wings
And despite your somewhat untimely timing
I find you completely charming
But alas when I've awaken
I realize I've been completely taken
Because life with it's ups and downs
is staring at me with a frown

And it is true. I am behind on loads of things and I'm feeling very guilty for allowing myself to sleep and relax all morning. I shall fight the black and grey feeling, crank up the music, and get to work! However, crossfit may have to be skipped.

A reminder

I feel like crying. Stupid feelings are never, ever content. So frustrating! I have such a blessed life, but I still find things every minute of everyday to complain about. Today it's my lack of a lot of things, but instead of focusing on that I shall turn my thought to more uplifting words.

'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness' ~ 2 Cor 12:10

'For when I am weak I am strong'~ 2 Cor

I always feel like these words don't apply to me since I am not in prison nor am I out witnessing to tribes out in the wild, but the more I read, the more I realize that Paul was a person just like me and though he was an amazingly disciplined, he still had feelings of despair and dejection. This life is temporal and short, but at times it has a sense of a foggy bog that never ends. With wet and cold feet it quite often comes to the point of giving up, but it's at that moment that Gods grace comes flooding back in. I know with out a doubt that God will always be there to pull me out even when I am in my self made trap, which most often is the case. For when I am faithless, he is faithful, when I am weak and distraught, he is my strength and my comfort. Praise be to him whom through all blessings flow.

/E